The BANSA HQ Mysteries #3
A Shimy and a Shake
by Ams

Titled by Kari-Muffin >_>; because she's insane.

Miwo was not a happy bishen.

He was sitting around, sulking and glowering at everyone within three yards of him. He wasn't angsty or evil at that particular moment; he simply had not seen 'Arnari all night, and this bothered him. She was usually around at this time, so that they could go out hunting. Or at least go out and kill things -- whichever seemed more productive at the moment.

The portal male was only jerked out of his thoughts when he heard a rustle near him. He glanced over his shoulder and jumped very suddenly. Sitting a few feet away and looking very surly was the frightening and unnaturally polite hirgyae male, called Dalvi'aug Faar'kerdu. He looked like he was fighting fiercely with himself over something.

"Er," Miwo said, "can I ... help you?"

Dalvi scowled, and finally nodded. "Have you seen Liliha?" he asked shortly.

"Er," Miwo said again, "well, I never see much of her, really --"

"So you have not," Dalvi replied, in the russian accent that the author believes very firmly that he has.

Miwo shook his head. "Now that you mention it," he said, "'Arnari's been scarce as well."

"It is very strange," Dalvi agreed. "I have seen very few females this evening."

"...Same here," Miwo said thoughtfully, looking around. The population of the BANSA building was currently comprised of a lot of bemused-looking males.

Just then, Pierre came flailing in. "KIDNAPPING!" he hollered at the top of his lungs. All the males jumped, and even Kipfel raised his head from his hiding place in the corner.

"I found this in Clarinet's place," the red terran continued, obviously very flustered. "It's ripped, so it's kind of hard to read, but it says 'All female bishen ... my place ...' and that's it."

Miwo boggled. "This ... can't be good," he said flatly.

All the males began to grow very concerned. The females were in serious danger, so it seemed, and, being males, it was going to take a lot of effort on their part to do something about it. Even Kip got a very strange look on his face, which surprised everybody.

"Well, what are we going to do?" Julian asked from where he sat, using his tail to fend off Justin's wrestle attempts.

"I think," Dalvi suggested, "we should send out a party of our most experienced trackers to search the building for them."

"...What experienced trackers?" Pierre asked.

The next several minutes consisted of the males accusing one another of being experienced trackers. All of them were worried, but, curiously, whenever one was singled out to go, he suddenly became very occupied with something or other and was unable to go. Finally, the only men remaining were Miwo, Dalvi, Kip, Ira, and Julian.

"You five," Pierre said firmly, "are going. There's just no arguing the matter."

So, after a few minutes of arguing, the five were kicked out the door and into the dark, ever-changing hallways of the BANSA headquarters.

"So ... what now?" Ira asked, looking around with raised eyeridges. <_< Because, dammit, Bishen can /do/ that.

"We look for clues, I suppose," said Kip, the strange expression still on his face.

"You okay, Kip?" Miwo asked awkwardly. He was rewarded for his courtesy with a snarling fit, so he let the subject drop.

"Where to?" Julian asked, looking around at the constantly shifting doors.

"Erm ... look for more little slips of paper?" Ira offered.

The group dug around in various rooms with little success in the finding-paper-scraps department. That is, until Julian accidentally slipped on a bit of paper that looked suspiciously like it had been cut from a card.

"It has part of an address!" the green terran exclaimed, showing it around. "Let's see, if we can find the other half...."

"Here's some torn paper," Ira offered, picking up another scrap that didn't actually have anything written on it. "It's almost like someone tore this up...."

It took a while for the group to find the other half of the address, but it was eventually discovered, half-lodged under a rug in the next room. Putting the two pieces together, they were able to come up with the whole thing. They set off at once.

"What d'you think we're going to find?" Miwo asked nervously, apparently deciding that there needed to be some kind of foreshadowing.

"Something ... frightening," Dalvi said quietly, his red eyes glowing in the night. It was remarkable how right he turned out to be.

After a bit more walking [or flying, for those able] the party reached the house in question. There were lights flashing, just visible through the windows, and there seemed to be a low, dull noise coming from the building.

"Well," Ira said firmly, ignoring the fact that his mate's face was growing brighter and brighter crimson, "let's do this."

And with that, the five charged forward and bashed in the door.

They were met with a remarkable sight. Colored lights were blinking on and off at random in various places, and a stereo was playing "My Sharona" in blaring surround-sound. Every single female bishen in existence was there, on the dance floor or off snacking and chatting. They all looked rapidly up at the sound of the males barging in, and Rai emerged, looking startled.

"Who invited you?" she asked.

During the silence that followed, 3/5 of the present males fell over. Dalvi just blinked, and Kip looked like he'd like to vanish.

"What, we never told you?" Verdara asked, emerging from the crowd and looking thoroughly entertained. "It's a partyyyy for girls only."

Kip wailed.

"Kip, did you bring them?" Rai asked indignantly.

"Kip, you knew about this?" Ira asked, flailing a bit. "Why didn't you just tell us?"

"Because..." Kip began.

"Because he was invited," Verdara finished with a knowing nod.

"Shut /up/!" Kip hissed.

"Well, you're on the girl's side in the mated pairs listing, what d'you expect?" Rai asked.

"That ... you ..." Kipfel sputtered, apparently unable to speak coherently at the moment. After one last attempt at some sort of comeback ["Schngarl!"] he turned on his heel and stormed out the broken-down door.

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